Personality Type NINE
Type NINEs identify with the:
- change cycle phase of homeostasis
- essential quality of peace
- basic function of mediation
- developmental task of cooperation
- psychological network of community/environment
Type NINEs tend to resist the:
- change cycle phase of awareness of limitations
- essential quality of consciousness
- basic function of discernment
- developmental task of separation
- psychological network of ideals
NINEs fear slipping back into the ordeals associated with gaining mastery and manifesting their will. They cope by compromising their own agenda to blend with others and maintain peace and stability. They compulsively ask:
- How do I consolidate my growth and development?
- How do I mediate harmony and cooperation?
They avoid asking:
- What’s wrong?
- What’s the ideal?
- What I am aware of now?
At their worst NINEs demonstrate the symptoms of dissociative and dependent personality disorders.
When NINEs embody their essential wholeness they are conscious of the complexities in human interactions. That enables them to get along well with others, form deep lasting relationships and help others cooperate. They can mediate conflicts and remain true to their ideals and values. Their openness to other’s ideas makes them good leaders who purposely include a diversity of opinions on their teams.
Healthy NINEs are appreciative of what they have while still motivated to honor their ideals. NINEs are active members of organizations and social networks willing to take initiative and they are good at offering constructive criticism.
At their best NINEs’ qualities can be seen in people like: His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Carl Jung, Abraham Lincoln, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Carl Rogers, George Lucas and Bill Clinton.
Essential Wholeness Psychology show us how people with this personality style tend to get stuck in their natural evolutionary development by
Identifying with Phase NINE and Resisting Phase ONE
Enneagram Type NINEs tend to identify overly with the Essential Quality of Peace. To maintain their self-image of being a peaceful person they mediate conflicting factors to maintain cooperation within their community (family, organization, etc.).
Yet, they also avoid becoming more conscious and discerning of the limitations of their circumstances and distinguishing what separates who they are as individuals from the rest of the community, as well as other members of the community from one another. Their resistance to being aware of their ideals, means they have no standard for determining a hierarchy of importance to available choices. What is important for personal growth and wellbeing, as well as the growth and wellbeing of the community, is mediated into equal importance with the most trivial of matters. Deciding what color of toothbrush to buy holds equal importance with to how to tell your spouse you almost had an affair.
The more NINEs try to maintain an image of peace, the more their lives — inwardly and outwardly — become filled with conflict and chaos. They switch their consciousness off or away from anything disturbing and hope that by ignoring problems and conflicts, these will go away. When problems don’t go away, and their frustration builds sufficiently, NINEs explode in anger.
The provoking incident often is something trivial — often to the bemusement of those on the receiving end of the anger. When NINEs regains their composure, they often see how irrational and exaggerated their anger was although they often remain unaware of the underlying issue. Instead of looking into what is fueling their reaction, they vow to not let these little things bother to them so much and thereby perpetuate the cycle of repression.
Type NINEs are aware of how much willpower it takes to manifest systems of organization. They prefer to appreciate what they have, and hope if they ignore problems they will go away. They are intrinsically aware of the demands life can make on them when they listen to their call to greatness and follow their dream.
NINEs fear having to go through phase EIGHT again so they resist doing anything that could highlight unmet needs, aspirations or desires. If they identify themselves as peaceful people (NINE) it seems incompatible with the willful assertiveness associated with EIGHT or the idealistic intensity associated with ONE.
One of the more critical descriptions of NINEs is that they are said to be lazy. Laziness, generally, comes from a lack of motivation. But, while NINEs are often are very busy, trying to keep everything rolling along this is because they are very motivated to maintain the status quo. Their laziness is in regard to growth and development. NINEs forget ideals and problems relative to how things could ideally be are what inspire us to reach beyond the familiarity of the patterns of our day-to-day existence.
NINEs avoid thinking about ideals that would highlight conflict between how things are and how they could be because they fear not feeling peaceful. Their motto is often “peace at any price,” and that price is personal satisfaction and development. To cope, they become more enmeshed with family or community. Their language is predominantly in terms of ‘we’ and ‘us’, and they avoid ‘I’ statements.
NINEs avoid making decisions — simply going along with what others are doing or seem to expect — because making a decision requires discerning what is best in a situation. And so, making a decision can create conflict because different people may have conflicting agendas. If choosing to go along with one family member, for example, puts them in conflict with another, they get frozen in indecision. Although they try desperately not to upset anyone, others can find the NINE’s indecision infuriating.
When they are children, NINEs are often forgotten, invisible or low-maintenance. Under stress they blend in with the environment, minimizing needs and wants in the hope of maintaining stability. This pattern continues into adulthood: because they are so consistent in behavior and demeanor, it is easy for others to take them for granted.
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” is a powerful maxim for NINEs. Although NINEs may physically be present and this presence may be acknowledged, their emotional self remains invisible and, often, is not taken into consideration because they tend to be compliant. So, not only do others not check in with them, NINEs don’t even check in with their own desires, let alone how they feel about other’s expectations, demands and wishes, before acquiescing.
NINEs resist moving to ONE where they would naturally become more conscious of who they are separate from and the groups to which they belong. NINEs, more than any other type, are attracted towards a stationary state, as close to equilibrium and as predictability as possible.
As biologist Ilya Prigogine said, a system operating within this range tends to “forget its initial conditions” of growth and evolution. NINEs respond predictably like non-living systems, following the basic laws of physics like inertia. When NINEs reach their limit of compliance, rather than saying, “No more!” they often simply refuse to budge in response to initiative.
To maintain the status quo, NINEs compromise personal expectations and ideals and dissociate from any awareness of things they aren’t happy about. NINEs lie by omission — simply leaving out parts of explanations that they perceive as contentious or selfish. People in relationship with NINEs stuck in that compulsion, describe them as generally nice, but boring; helpful but not deeply satisfying; and friendly but not intimate. Because their awareness is fixated on the community, environmental context and maintaining the status quo, NINEs rarely initiate activities. Initiation requires knowing what they want and doing something to make it happen. To begin any creative process they must move from NINE to ONE to discern their preferences and to begin articulating what is right for them.
Fearing slipping back to phase EIGHT and try to cope by doing more phase NINE
NINEs keep their attention on what is comfortable and easy to the exclusion of what is perceived as uncomfortable or challenging. They fear needing to exercise their will and the effort that goes into mastering a skill or area of knowledge. To cope with fear they pad their lives with simple comforts and things that provide easy distractions from any issues that demand attention. They distract themselves with trivial or uncharged activities or objects as a way of avoiding anything that might disrupt the homeostasis. NINEs fear having a strong identity. More than any other type they are likely to say, “I’m nobody”. People with strong identities stand out in a crowd, people look to them to take charge or help organize things. NINEs fear controversy where their agenda might conflict with someone else’s (rock the boat).
NINEs are overly identified with the patterns of relating between different individuals that defines a community. When the limitations of these patterns become apparent, NINEs identify with the limitations and think, “I’m not good enough (inadequate),” rather than, “There is something wrong with the way I (we) have been doing things”. NINEs think in global unchanging terms, believing the way things are is as good as they get, and how they act is who they are and how they will always be. NINEs resist taking a stand that potentially separates them from the groups or contexts they are a part of. In phases EIGHT and ONE we stand apart from the whole to implement or initiate change.
Hero’s Journey — The Ordinary World
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there. Yogi Berra
On the Hero’s journey, NINEs try to stay comfortable in their ordinary world. They limit their awareness of problems or opportunities — resist calls to adventure by minimizing the value, importance or urgency of issues — positive and negative. So even when an opportunity for a new job, relationship or anything novel arises, they pass it by in favor of maintaining predictable day-to-day routines.
Aldous Huxley reminded us, “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored,” yet NINEs, more than any other personality type, believe ignorance is bliss. NINEs are wearing blinkers that block-out anything but the well-worn path, the set routines. They the same mistakes over and over, even with feedback (consequences or friendly advice) to help them make different choices. Because they fear the need to change, they easily forget about problems of the past; each time a problem arises, it is like it is happening for the first time.
Without awareness of their ideals NINEs fail to set goals for themselves. In relationship counseling one NINE proudly proclaimed, “I’m not the one who has changed. I’m the same as I have always been!” Which, of course, is exactly what their spouse was unhappy about. If our relationship skills haven’t improved in fifteen years of marriage, we have missed many opportunities to grow, and probably haven’t had any goals other than staying together. The longer we resist change, the more any relationship deteriorates. This leaves the NINE with the perception that life is something merely “to be gotten through.” Many NINEs take pride in the ability to endure impoverished, unpleasant and unjust circumstances; even to the point of thinking that we show love by putting up with someone’s crap. Because of this lack of assertiveness, some NINEs never achieve much individuation from parents or significant others. If allowed to, they might never leave home — especially if they are the youngest child — choosing instead to stick round and hold the family together.
A “No” uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. Mahatma Gandhi
Connection to THREE
During periods of integration and stability type NINEs tend to connect more with the qualities of THREE: exploring limits of capabilities, strength, initiation, promotion and capabilities. To help maintain stability and reinforce their implacable identity, NINEs use their strength to stubbornly refuse to address problems. They go to the limits of their capabilities to maintain the status quo — promoting a false image of success to ward off a growing awareness of the limitations of their circumstances. To keep this image up they must be increasingly deceitful, especially with themselves, but also others. Bill Clinton demonstrated this in his presidency and marriage (but like a lot of NINEs his easygoing nature made him easy for some to forgive).
Connecting with essential strength enables NINEs to stand on their own with more autonomy, allowing them to connect more with personal ideals and preferences. From this position of strength it becomes easier to discern what is working from what isn’t. Instead of just reacting and responding to people and demands in their environments and social systems, they are able to initiate actions that promote their needs separate from other’s expectations.
Connection to SIX
During periods of disintegration and when approaching chaos, type NINEs tend to connect more with the qualities of SIX: differentiation, acceptance, differentiate, anticipation and questioning. Things often get worse before they get better. Rather than consciously facing the growing instability of their circumstances, NINEs fall deeper into confusion and anxiety. The compulsion of looking for peace outside of themselves extends into looking for acceptance from others. The more they deny their individuality the more they give others the power to accept or reject them. They may begin to obsess about who is with them and who is against them, descending into paranoia as stress increases. The fear of change gets expressed in anticipating what could go wrong if they were to step out of their routines. They even begin doubting and questioning aspects of themselves they have felt comfortable with in the past. This movement to SIX intensifies the disintegration process, making their flaws and the flaws of social systems more apparent — hence the need to become more conscious and discerning even more compelling.
NINE’s connection to SIX helps them to accept themselves more unconditionally. Accepting what is not okay, as well as what is, helps them address the limitations of their circumstances. Differentiating their agenda from the collective and questioning the assumptions of the status quo helps them separate enough to begin attending to their agenda and initiate change in their social systems. Once NINEs break out of their homeostatic routines they can move into a sort of evolutionary momentum that makes them hard to stop.
Understanding how type NINEs tend to resist the natural processes of change and cling to fixed ideas of themselves helps us to meet them where they get stuck and show them the possibility for greater freedom.
