Serving as a Representative
“Representing in a family constellation is a great honour that truly defies logic. Having the opportunity to step into the shoes of another person and feel their pain, their joy and the many emotions between these and display their messages of truth so another person can witness the bigger picture of their family life is humbling and inspiring. Each role I represent in is also a mirror many elements that resonate personally for me. It is an honour and privilege to represent and I love the connection that I embrace in each role.” Tim Lassig
I have felt liberated and healed through the family constellations I have done for myself, but I have served as a representative many more times and I believe that in doing so I have matured and awakened in so many subtle empowering and liberating ways. As a representative you can experience a depth of compassion for others you may have never known existed. You can open to a depth and breadth of equanimity which can allow you to experience the most difficult situations and emotions with an open heart and open mind; while avoiding fight, flight or freeze reactions.
Serving as a representative helps you have an embodied experience of how deeply we are all woven together into the fabric of humanity, and how we are all truly in this thing called ‘Life’ together.
Layers of the Soul
Bert Hellinger in addressing the healing power of family constellations writes, “Through the surprising experience that the representatives have for the individual family members actually feel like the people they are representing without knowing anything about them, the family constellation has opened an access to the layers of the soul, many of which were previously hidden in our culture. In addition, when the representatives really remain collected, they are driven by an irresistible force into a movement, though which, hidden or forgotten experiences are brought to light. Through this movement, when the representatives submit themselves to I, solutions are found for the individuals and their family and kin. These solutions allow separated parties to reunite, family members in conflict to forgive one another, and old wrongs to be righted.” (Kampenhout 2001)
The surprising thing is that these effects do not just come from the living, but also from the dead, who may be long forgotten. They make contact during the family constellation in the sense that they show what has to be put right, so that the living can be released from the consequences of past wrongs and the side-effects of past external fates; the living, by respecting the dead, enable them to retreat and finally find peace.”
Becoming Greater than our Limited Selves
Daan van Kamperenhout (2001) explaining to power of serving as a representative in constellations explains, “In a small and modest way, participating in family constellations can also be a path of purification and spiritual maturation. The representative who opens his soul for others purifies and restructures his four bodies (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual), and this lets both the soul and personality expand. Regularly participating as a representative in constellations opens us up for ‘the human experience’ in all its many aspects. A childless man can represent a father of seven children. A healthy woman who has never been ill will look at herself differently after representing several handicapped people who lived with continuous physical pain and discomfort… When representing others is done with awareness, we gradually become greater than just our limited selves.”
“After representing someone may notice that his view on certain things change, that certain issues and events seem less, or more important than before. Painful memories that always brought up a lot of emotions become just memories, and no specific feelings will be attached to them.” (Kampenhout 2001)
When checking in at the end of a constellation day the words people have used to summarise their experience as representatives and observers are most often: grateful, peaceful, loving, connected, belonging, insightful and open.
Connecting with Ancestors
“Wow! I didn’t even have my family constellation done and I keep having breakthroughs every day a new piece of information connects. I am working with a soul medicine practitioner and doing an exercise today connecting to the soul field, I just realized how much love I could receive from both my grandfathers who were amazing caring men and my great grandpa who was an angel on earth…it was overwhelming to feel it and realise they all left this time, space and reality young and abruptly and I never processed their passing and the fact that they have basically disappeared from my life without too many comments as I was 3 and 4 years old. My great grandfather passed at 97 from a medical mistake after walking into the hospital. Very touching and important to connect with such a loving legacy in my family of origin and to feel the grief even so many years later.” Marcia Teperman
