Book Review from Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, by Yvonne McDonell
Essential Wholeness by Eric Lyleson uses an extensive range of philosophy, psychology and spirituality to describe us as people and to broaden our role as therapists. We discover how our favourite theories inform our practice with clients and impact how we live in the world. One thing that excited me was the way in which the book whets my appetite to learn more about each of these areas. For instance, the bibliography is so informative and interesting, that it is as if Lyleson is opening doors through which to explore the familiar and unfamiliar.The book is not without its challenges, and it took me some time to comprehend the concept that Lyleson calls essential wholeness. He defines it as what Buddhism refers to as emptiness. However, he says that the emptiness of being is not nothing, but also not a thing – and earlier: "We are taught as children that we should know who we are, however when we look within to find ourselves, there is nothing permanent there" (p. 11).It seems that he sees essential wholeness as a need to accept the complex and the circular nature of things. To explain this, he calls on philosophy, systems theory, Bateson’s cybernetic theory, chaos theory and homeostasis. Rather than being frightened off by the breadth of knowledge contained in this book, I found a thrill in becoming reacquainted with old friends like Maturana, Bateson, Erickson and Kauffman, as well as being introduced to new ideas.I wondered whether the understanding that I am actually taking away from the book is exactly as Lyleson intended. Perhaps that does not even matter, since it certainly has had me thinking deeply about my life and about the lives of my clients. I am attracted to the definition Lyleson presents of a therapist as someone ‘who will help their clients trust in their innate ability to transition from one stage of life to the next’ (p. 79). He proposes that effective psychotherapy helps people to be honest with themselves and to tune into their unconscious wisdom (p. 9). He sees his role as a psychotherapist as an agent of change, since he proposes that much of human suffering comes from the inability to cope with change.In addressing What it Means to Be, he looks at humanity in a way that includes body, mind, soul and spirit, while at the same time being embedded in, and dependent on, the rest of creation (p. 7). He looks at the writings of Bateson and juxatposes them with Buddhism and Christianity, with the idea that inner space and outer space are the same ‘beingness’.Lyleson sees the process of evolution as our coming to view ourselves as separate from the rest of creation, and spirit from matter (p. 37). He explains this by showing us a picture of human experience from the earliest development of humans, exploring theories of how life developed on earth (p. 54). The book looks at the way in which people change to freedom from suffering; how control vs. cooperation has been achieved, and even how our society uses meditation to enable people to mechanically function better (p. 33). He explains separation and anxiety: "Anxieties, frustrations, insecurities, resentments, or even the simple discontent that drives most people’s lives, are caused by the separation from our essential nature that occurs by the holding onto a solid, permanent sense of self" (p. 10).Then, in order to achieve a sense of self – "the living in harmony with our own true natures in order to live in harmony with nature" (p. 1) – he uses the Enneagram. The nine personality types are explained in great detail. Each type is explored in terms of its essence in a way that makes sense and is correlated with qualities of being that Lyleson calls ‘faces of love’. The Enneagram is used to assist us to recognise the types in clients and to understand how people make sense of their world as a way of being and living. He offers us suggestions for ways of working with each personality type (p. 113) and actually presents questions to assist people to facilitate change and move towards wholeness in their favourite type (p. 137).The stunning thing about the book is the positive way in which each type is presented. Lyleson claims that everyone is right, has some important pieces of truth, and that all of these pieces need to be honoured. In supporting this idea, he references Ken Wilber (2000, Collected Works of Ken Wilber, Vol VIII, Shambhala Publications, Boston, p. 3). He also deals with the personality types as a whole ‘like white light composed of colours’ (p. 142). A client, David, is seen in terms of eight of the nine personality types, which demonstrates this point.One of the more unusual chapters looks at the development of each person from the womb to 12 months old. We are presented with an extraordinary and detailed description of birth from a baby’s point of view, positioning each stage with the Enneagram, and again the Enneagram is used to reach essential wholeness.Lyleson explains that having to hold on to and validating a self‐concept is only necessary if we have a negative self‐concept. Whereas an unconditional acceptance of the way things are can be achieved if we do not define ourselves in a static way. This would enable us to be free to respond to life in whatever ways are most useful (p. 10).In conclusion, I call on Eric to define the concept of essential wholeness in this most extraordinary book: "We are not our compulsions of personality; we are spiritual beings experiencing the ever‐changing nature of creation. The more we open to our true nature, the more we utilize and demonstrate the full spectrum of qualities represented by the Enneagram" (p. 388).
